Living in New York City brings with it a certain set of problems. These are unique struggles that most females experience while living in the Big Apple.
As much as we love to complain about how high our rent is, what to buy our doormen for Christmas and how disgusting the subway is, we really couldn’t see ourselves living anywhere else.
What is it like for a girl living in the big city? Well, let’s take a look:
1. Where is the closest Trader Joe’s?
Every single food store in NYC is drastically overpriced, which is why Trader Joe’s is the best option. The only problem with that is the fact that it’s probably 20+ minutes away from your apartment.
Enjoy lugging those packages home, as you will definitely will be buying an excess amount of cheap-ass wine.
2. “I only have a twenty.”
If you know you’re going to be sharing a cab with your friends at one point in the night, it probably would’ve been smart to, maybe, I don’t know, break your $20 before getting in the cab?
Figuring out how to split your cab fare is impossible, as no one has the patience to deal with this while trying to go out.
3. Tinder/Hinge/Every other dating app that results in NOTHING
The only thing these apps do is enhance and exercise our judgment skills. Nothing real ever comes from these swipes, anyway. What a waste of phone storage.
4. Being rent poor
We’re never as rich as we are on the Friday of pay day and never as poor as the day after the rent check clears. Why is everything so much more expensive in this city?
If you’re a girl, it’s much safer to live in a doorman building, which basically tacks on at least another $300 to the rent total.
5. Getting cat-called by construction workers at 9 am
It’s quite demoralizing when the only male attention you get on the regular is from an overweight, hairy, 40-year-old construction worker. But thank you for noticing the shower I took this morning.
6. The dilemma of whether to bring out a jacket or not
Of course coat check is always an option, but the whole process of it is quite annoying. You can’t not check your coat because some other drunk girl at the bar will definitely be wearing it home.
7. Walking in high heels in the Meatpacking District
This is an exercise routine all its own — it involves balance, stamina and coordination! This is a paradox; you can’t get into any of the bars in Meatpacking if you aren’t wearing heels, but it’s absolutely impossible to even make it to the door.
8. Flirting with the bouncers to cut the lines in winter
For some reason every girl thinks she can pull this off. Bouncers are not noobs and are well aware of what you are doing.
They know they aren’t getting anything in return and so, they will most likely not let you cut the line. Sometimes, though, you get a bouncer sent from the heavens above to succumb to your banter.
9. Too many options on Seamless
Two hours later, you’re still scrolling through the endless options, creating the meal of your dreams only to switch entirely to a different type of cuisine. Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries.
10. Making time for the gym before a date
The struggle is real when trying to fit dates into your after-work schedule. You want to enjoy your post-work gym routine to relax from the day, but when you need to be in the shower by 7:30, it can be difficult to coordinate.
11. Doorman shame
There’s one person who is always judging you and that’s your doorman. These men are dead sober at 5 am when you come strolling in, blacked out with your shoes in hand. What’s even worse is when you arrive in the same attire around 11:30 am.
12. Really long bathroom lines at clubs
Obviously you are waiting until the very last second to use the bathroom when you’re out, which is just a terrible idea as you are most definitely not the only one thinking it.
You are going to be greeted by 20 other hammered, screaming girls, bitching and complaining about the exact same thing.
13. Men masturbating on subways and street corners
There are just no words to convey how horrible this is to experience. Moving on…
14. Getting a cab in the f*cking lower east side at 3 am
Damn hipsters be snagging up all the empty taxis!
15. Fighting the urge not to get pizza at 4 am
But I’m drunk and hungry and only had a salad for dinner! That totally justifies getting an entire pie of pizza for myself.
16. When you’re wearing a skirt and the wind blows up from the subway grate
This is only a look Marilyn Monroe could pull off; it doesn’t look nearly half as good on us.
17. The best way to do our laundry
Do we devote two hours of our days to going up and down from our apartment basements? Or do we gather our singles and head to the laundromat to have it washed and folded for us? Decisions, decisions.
18. Finding a reliable drug dealer
The only way to get drugs in this city — doesn’t matter what kind — is through some sort of referral process. So hit up your most knowledgeable guy friend and go from there.
19. The various forms of precipitation falling on our heads and ruining our hair
I think it may be raining, or maybe it’s an air conditioning unit dripping onto my head, or maybe someone is just peeing straight out of the window…
20. Navigating a walk-up in high heels
Why did we decide to pregame at our friend’s when she lives in a five-story walk-up? Never, never again.
21. Trying to find a yoga class that’s less than $20
I just want to sweat out my hangover in downward dog. Is that too much to ask?
22. In the summer, your legs stick to the seat
Literally anytime you sit down in NYC during the summer months, your legs are sticking to something. The humidity is a f*cking nightmare and it’s not like you aren’t going to wear shorts. Also, don’t forget about the boob sweat!
23. The lack of dating potential
I’m pretty sure New York is the worst city for singles in America.
